The World's Most Awesome Country
by yolapeoples
Summary: ...On the World's Most Random Topics. Collection of One-Shots. Ch. 4: ...On In-Laws. "Guess what the Awesome Me just figured out!” Prussia realizes something, Spain is clueless and France has suspicious grocery bags. Implied GerIta and Spamano.
1. On Colors

**The World's Most Awesome Country**... on Colors  
By Yolapeoples

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_Summary:_ "Now, I know you know how awesome I am, BUT now I have PROOF!" Prussia finds proof of his awesomeness though the Italies are not sure they agree.  
_Rating:_ T for Romano's mouth (surprisingly Prussia has nothing to contribute).  
_Characters:_ Prussia, Germany, Austria, Italy, Romano. No Pairings.  
_Disclaimer:_ I own nothing but a Prismacolor brush pen, a Micron 05 pen and a blue colored pencil. And I paid $6.31 for those. *defeat*  
_A/n:_ I'm going to finally just upload this thing already no matter how random it is!!

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"WEST!"

An avalanche of overly loud footsteps, and Prussia skidded around the corner, his combat boots leaving marks in the hardwood floor; Germany sighed exasperatedly, how many times had he told his dear _bruder_ not to wear those things in the house?

"WES- Wait, what's _he_ doing here?" Prussia pointed an accusatory finger at the Austrian sitting on Germany's couch, sipping tea. Speaking of which, mused Prussia, since when did his dear _bruder_ make tea?

"Austria is here to discuss important mat-" Germany didn't have time to finish his statement as Prussia cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! What I have to say is MUCH more important."

Austria seemed extremely doubtful of this, putting his teacup down on the table (on a saucer, of course; he wasn't _Prussia_.). Germany just sent Prussia a deadpanning look, hoping this would be over soon so he could get back to business.

"Now, I know you know how awesome I am," Austria snorted, earning a red-eyed glare, before said not-nation continued forcefully, "_BUT_ now I have PROOF!"

Standing arms in the air as if he had just found the secret to cold fusion, Prussia looked expectantly to the other two.

"And this proof is…?" asked Germany.

Prussia blinked before realizing he hadn't actually showed them the proof yet.

"Right, right." Austria raised a superior eyebrow as Prussia searched through his pockets.

"AHA!" proclaimed Prussia, pulling out a blue colored pencil, "See, West! _Prussian_ blue! I'm so awesome, they named a color after me! You don't see a _German_ or _Austrian_ color, do ya?" He laughed maniacally; Germany and Austria just looked at each other.

"Germany~!"

Another avalanche of footsteps and Italy had entered the room, dragging behind him a rather noncompliant Romano.

"Why the hell did you drag me to the potato bastard's house, you moron?!" yelled Romano before raising an eyebrow at Prussia, who was still laughing victoriously, "See! I told you eating all that German food will make you go insane!"

Prussia sobered quickly, showing his colored pencil to the Italies.

Italy seemed impressed, "Wow, Prussia~! You got a colored pencil named after you~!"

Romano, however, did not, "Yeah, just like my moronic brother."

Austria could _hear_ Prussia's smirk fall, "What?"

"_Venetian_ red." deadpanned Romano before turning towards the door, "Now if you bastards are done, I'm going back to Spain's house."

**…Fin.**

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China: There's also a China Blue, aru!

France: And a French blue.

Prussia: Sh-shut up! I knew that!

(Inspired by a trip to A.I. Friedman's. I found a Prussian blue colored pencil and I had to buy it. Then I went to Kohl's to find my mom when I saw a shirt that read, "If you were me, you would be awesome"… so much Prussia.)


	2. On Cans

**Friendly Neighborhood Austrian  
**A Hetalia Axis Powers Fanfic  
By Yolapeoples

Featuring: Romano and Prussia. Cameo Hungary, America, England, Austria and Germany. Implied SpainxRomano.  
**Summary: Romano tries to take out his anger on an aluminum can, Prussia is bored and Austria has super powers? One-shot of randomness. T for Lovi's lovely language.  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or anything else; all I have is my brain that can be very random when bored and OD-ing on Spanish music.  
Because: My brother can't crush cans for his life and I can only wish to be as awesome as Prussia. That and sunscreen does not make for good glue… but that's a different story.  
A/n: For those who don't know, Mariazell is Austria's freak hair, much like America's Nantucket.

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Lovino Vargas sat on the curb by a 7-11, angrily trying to poke a hole in his emptied soda can with a pencil (and failing miserably to do so), scaring most passers-by.

"Hey! It's South Italy!"

Romano turned to glare at whoever had the misfortune of coming to disturb his angsting only to find Gilbert Weillschmidt wielding his own can of soda.

Prussia plopped himself down next to Romano, who paused his glaring to try, yet again, to poke a hole through his can.

"What's with you?" questioned Prussia, not so much concerned as just bored and curious, having been kicked out of his dear _bruder_'s place and barely escaping death-by-frying-pan at Austria's (like _he_ cared if the pianist was hosting some big important conference). He knew that the smaller nation had anger management issues, but still.

"…bastard Spaniard…" was all Prussia could make out of Romano's dark muttered reply; half of it seemed to be a slew of colorful Italian curse words anyway. The Italian feebly poked at his can again in vain.

"Well, you're not going to get anywhere like that." said Prussia, speaking as if he was the authority on such things (and according to himself, he was), gesturing to Romano's can, "You have to be more forceful. Stab the thing!"

Romano set a new record by combining doubt, deadpan and annoyance in the look he sent Prussia.

"Gimme that!" Prussia grabbed Romano's pencil, "I'll demonstrate, as I am awesome and all."

Prussia eyed his can, making a show of aiming perfectly, raised the pencil and stabbed the can with full force. Romano looked slightly impressed as the pencil made a perfect hole in the can, barely denting the metal around it.

"Told ya." said Prussia, smirking victoriously as Romano's expression and pulling the pencil out, "People should really listen to my awesomeness more oft- what are you looking at me like that for?" Prussia followed Romano's gaze downwards to find the can's liquid contents dutifully pouring themselves out onto his combat boots.

"You didn't empty the can first, you dumbass?!" yelled Romano.

"Hey! This was not _my_ idea!!" exclaimed Prussia, throwing the can at Romano like a hot potato, sending soda flying everywhere.

"CHIGI!"

The two ran around, frantically trying to get rid of the can.

_***HETALIA!***_

"And that's why I think… Uh…" America paused in his heroic explanation to stare horrified at Austria, face pale. England was also bordering gaping.

Mariazell had straightened suddenly and now, like a radar, was pointing in different directions and dinging occasionally.

Austria calmly put his teacup down.

"My 'Prussian Stupidity' senses are tingling."

Germany headdesked.

…**Fin.**

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This makes me want to draw Austria in a Spiderman outfit… *shot multiple times by Switzerland*

Please review!

Historical Notes: I don't know what meeting that is, honestly. The original idea was that it was the Congress of Vienna, but that doesn't make sense as America shouldn't really be there then and Prussia should sort of be there instead of Germany… then there's France and Russia… Wow. I fail I making coherent timelines. Oh well...


	3. On Beds

**Prussian Logic**

_Characters/Pairings:_ Prussia, kid!Germany, Austria, Hungary. Mentions AustriaxHungary.  
_**Summary: **_**"Please, stop corrupting the youth." Prussia explains his logic on the distribution of awesomeness. Germany is not so convinced. Hungary is not amused.  
**_Rating:_ K (for implied frying pan violence)  
_A/n: _The way I imagine this is that this is right after the fall of the Holy Roman Empire and they all have to move out of his house (or something...). Anyway, mentions Austro-Hungarian empire. Also, when I say kid!Germany, take that as you will (HRE vs. ...not). Not one of my best one-shots, but it was worth a try.

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"Why do you get the bigger bed?"

"Because I'm more awesome, West."

"That doesn't make any sense." deadpanned Germany.

"Of course it does!" replied Prussia simply, plopping himself down on his king-sized bed which dwarfed Germany's twin-sized. The younger German put his bag down and Prussia continued his explanation, looking at the ceiling.

"Bed size reflects awesomeness; since I am the most awesome, I get the biggest bed." He sat up to see Germany sitting on the edge of his bed, legs barely touching the floor, "Not that you're not awesome, West."

"So, if my bed is half the size of yours…" tried Germany, eyebrows raised, unimpressed by his older brother's logic.

"…then you are half as awesome as me." finished Prussia, "Or inversely, I am twice as awesome as you. Which sounds about right…"

"That's completely idiotic." deadpanned Germany.

Prussia lazily pointed a finger at his brother in accusation, "You've been hanging around Austria too much."

"Speaking of Austria," Germany ignored the comment, "Your bed is bigger than his and he shares it with Hungary."

Prussia smirked, closing his eyes and nodding, "Hence why I am five times more awesome than him."

"Five?"

"Yup. Two for the smaller bed, two for Hungary and one 'cause he's Austria." Prussia crossed his arms with a definite chuckle, as if the matter was resolved.

Germany, however, was not as convinced.

"It's simple really." said Prussia with a patronizing smile, "You'll understand when you're older."

Germany gave Prussia a blank look before getting up and leaving the room.

"Oh well." shrugged Prussia. And with that, he laid back down, combat boots on his pillow, his head at the end of the bed, and debated whether or not to take a nap.

"WHAT?!"

Prussia's eyes snapped open as the door burst open.

"PRUSSIA!" yelled Hungary, frying pan in hand.

"Please," threatened Austria in his passive way, "Stop corrupting the youth."

"And don't escape through the window!"

"_Auf wiedersehen_!" shouted Prussia quickly before running away. Hungary sped to the front door, chasing him down. Germany and Austria were content watching from afar.

"WEST! I thought what we had was special!!"

**THUD**

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Hungary: *walks off happily*

Yolapeoples: It's okay, Prussia; my brother doesn't get it either.


	4. On In Laws

**The World's Most Awesome Country**... On In-Laws  
By Yolapeoples

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_Characters/Pairings_: Prussia, Spain, France. Implied married!GerIta and married!Spamano.  
**_Summary_: "Guess what the Awesome Me just figured out!" Prussia realizes something, Spain is clueless and France has suspicious grocery bags. Implied GerIta and Spamano.  
**_Rating_:_T_ for, well, the Bad Touch Trio… Yeah.  
_Warnings_: Prussia definitely had coffee this morning even though I didn't. Overabuse of long sentences, parentheses and the word "awesome".  
_A/n_: Oh hey look! It's an update! *fail*

Based on the fact that if Spain married Romano and Germany married Italy, guess who would be in-laws.

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"Hey Spain!" yelled Prussia from where he was currently sprawled out on the entirety of Germany's living room couch, taking advantage of said German's not being home to prop his feet up on one end of the couch, his head resting on the other, completely ignoring Germany's "no combat boots on the furniture" rule. What kind of unawesome rule was that anyway? (The German kind, Prussia rationalized.)

He had also invited the Bad Touch Trio over and though Spain and France were both individually on Germany's "Okay to allow into the house" list, they weren't when they were both there together, or at least especially so when Prussia was with them. (Romano was also not to be let in after that one time with the dart gun, along with any circumstance that may lead to Italy being alone in the kitchen. Japan was allowed in except in the presence of certain suspicious types of magazines, and when Prussia was there, Hungary was required to sign a release form that exempted Germany from covering any damages.)

Dumb West was a bit over-precautious when it came to rules, according to Prussia, especially considering Germany's house was practically his own these days. (He refused to call it freeloading because that would be way too unawesome; Prussia preferred to call it "enlightening West to the true ways of the Awesome".) In the end, it hadn't really mattered much; as far as Prussia was concerned, rules were made for the sole purpose of being broken. The only thing that had kept Germany's house from bursting spontaneously into flame was the fact that Germany was very adept at enforcing said rules. (But that's a story for some other time.)

Anyway, Prussia had successfully convinced Spain to make him food, which in retrospect had not been that difficult to do, while France had gone out to run some highly suspicious "errands". (Because who wanted to run boring errands when they could be hanging out with Prussia?)

"Ehhh?" Spain stuck his head out of the kitchen, a spatula in hand, wedding band glinting from his ring finger. Prussia, repositioning himself so that he could see over the back of the couch, wondered where the hell the tomato-print apron had come from. (Spain couldn't possibly carry the thing with him all the time in case of cooking emergencies, could he? … Prussia scratched out that last thought; this _was_ Spain he was talking about.)

"Guess what the Awesome Me just realized!" said Prussia, lifting himself off the couch lazily.

Spain blinked as Prussia approached him. "What?"

Prussia smirked, striking a pose to emphasize his point, "We're related!"

Dead silence; Prussia gave the Spaniard a few moments for it to sink in. (It was a pretty awesome conclusion, if he didn't say so himself, and would probably have blown anyone's mind, plus Spain had never been too quick on the uptake to begin with.)

Slowly, Prussia saw the cogs start to turn in Spain's head as the man brightened, his smile becoming powerful enough to power most of Europe and maybe Sealand.

"Ohh…" said Spain as a sign of recognition before glomping the other man for all he was worth (which was actually quite a lot, in Switzerland, where a certain gunhappy guy had put a bounty on his head).

"We're related!" repeated Spain happily. Prussia smirked and was about to laugh when the front door opened and France came in carrying quite innocent-enough-looking grocery bags. (Condoms, Prussia's mind would nag later, date rape drugs, aphrodisiacs or… or dead bodies!)

"Oh ho ho~!" chuckled the Frenchman, eyeing the two suspiciously, Spain having yet to release Prussia from his hug.

"_Espagne_!" France mock-gasped, "So soon after the wedding? And with _Prussie_ no less! What will Romano say?" France paused before wiggling an eyebrow at them, "You will, of course, let me join in, will you not?"

Spain just blinked in confusion, France's insinuations going right over his head; Prussia just scoffed, sticking his tongue out at the Frenchman.

"You're just jealous because you're not related to the Awesome Me!"

…**Fin.**

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**A/n**: Ha ha ha, okay, so that shouldn't have been as fun to write as it was. (I especially enjoy writing Prussia's little though-parentheses, if you didn't notice. XD)

Might continue on with this idea of in-laws eventually~. Not entirely sure.

P.S. France really was just getting normal groceries. (He had run out of his fancy "shampooing"! *le gasp*)


End file.
